Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
cat food counts as protein by the way
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
