his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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