who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
