so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
