4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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