laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
