if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Fuck appropriateness.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
