i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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