? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
