Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Small penises have feelings too.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
