it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
not ubering you a puppy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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