I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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