How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
