whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
