i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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