what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
