i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
