She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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