Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
