Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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