my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
