i think i have two assholes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
