my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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