she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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