It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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