her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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