Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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