i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
