I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
