Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
