so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
