After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
