He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
