Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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