Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
