**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
