yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
