What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
