first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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