on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
