At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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