you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
