she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
