was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm always down for nudity.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
