Where are you?
In a non slutty way
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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