About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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