She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
