I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And then he peed in my hair
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
