I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize