new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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