I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
