Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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