I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
