Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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