dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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