I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
